Usually my Monday Musing comes easily to me, but this week I had to think what I wanted to write about. I finally decided to write about something I have given a lot of thought to recently. When should we quit helping our adult children financially speaking?
My daughter will be 19 very soon and my son will be 21 and they are both on their own (and both in different states). Although neither has asked me repeatedly for money or financial help, there has been the “hint” they are in need of it. On my own accord, I have helped my daughter out quite a bit in recent months. I had saved some extra money with an unexpected temporary teaching position this past year. I also know my daughter is pretty responsible with the money she does make, it is just limited at her age. Being on your own in another state isn’t easy at 18 years old (long story, but basically due to work and school). However, I know there has to come a point where I have to say no. If I keep helping, I fear she will start expecting it. Additionally, I am having to watch my own finances more closely these days.
On the other hand, I definitely have not helped my son as much. There are various personal reasons I would rather not discuss publicly (other than to reiterate there are no substance abuse or other illegal issues). Long story short, he really is not nearly as responsible as my daughter and he is a bit older. However, I have helped him in small ways a few times.
In the end, I have made a decision and am at peace with it. I prefer to keep that decision to myself, but I can say there is a limit and there is a point to say no to your adult children. You can always buy them a good personal finance book to get them on the right track!
